The good films that bring me to the point of wanting to cry are the best ones, and I've had the luck of seeing quite a few of those. What I've never encountered though, is a film so unbelievably bad that I wanted to just stop watching movies and be done with them. It's a film that baits you with maybe a fun set piece, and then stomps your face into the ground for doing so — A film that made me so angry I wanted to cry. But now I have. I have now encountered a film that bad. A sexist, mean, load, and unfunny film. A film called Pixels. So as you can tell by that opening, I am not happy in reviewing Pixels. It's a horrible film with horrible jokes, horrible arches, horrible effects, and WHAT THE F... ok you get the idea. Honestly I probably should explain why all of this is so horrible, but that almost seems counter intuitive. This is a film that is so badly conceived and created that I wish I could just leave it there, all professionalism aside, but I can't. So here it goes. Pixels stars Adam Sandler (yeesh) who plays Sam Brenner (that last name might be wrong, but I really couldn't care less), a man who was good at playing video games in the 80's, and now installs gaming consoles in people's houses. His friend Chewy, played by Kevin James, is the president of the USA...hahahahahahahahaha. Kevin James hahahahahaha president. Ok ok I'm done. Ok, and aliens invade the earth in the form of old video games, and those two guys plus a cast of annoying stereotypes have to save the world. And actually, the movie doesn't even believe it's plot matters, because it just starts breaking it's world mechanics by the end. Congratulate my effort in explaining this stuff because I don't want to. With all that said, I can actually say one good thing about Pixels, and that would be the fact that during a few of it's action sequences it comes to life. The Centipede and Pac-Man ones are pretty cool, but action scenes can't save a movie, and the plot implications that come from these are so bad anyway that it all just sours by the end. I hated myself for feeling even the least excited during those sequences. The rest of the film is just the racist, and sexist humor that Adam Sandler is known for, and a running gag with Peter Dinklage's character wanting to have sex with Shaniah Twain, and Martha Stewart is particularly cringeworthy. None of this stuff holds up. None of it could, and on top of this the film is just loud. Honestly I don't want to talk about this film anymore. It is a piece of horrid shit that nobody should see, and deserves to be forgotten. I give Pixels a 2.5 out of 10. Reviewed by Stephen Tronicek.
1 Comment
Michael Langston
7/28/2015 01:02:58 pm
I agree. I found that the only saving grace in this steaming pile of dog shit was Josh Gad. He made this film a little bit enjoyable, but this is like cleaning a shit filled toilet bowl. Your review was great!
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December 2017
CategoriesAuthorHello welcome to FilmAnalyst. My name is Stephen Tronicek, and I really like movies. This is a way to get my opinions out to people. Thank you for visiting. |